Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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