It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize