I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I forgot how hot balto sounded
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize