i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
