Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize