Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
