I cockslap morals
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
