The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
