jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
