love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
