I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
