How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
