Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
