sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I want a musical about memes.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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