holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
