She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
