So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
wow bdsm is so cute
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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