so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
