hell yes lets make some ravioli
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
