He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
