Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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