These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
