ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
