i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
