You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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