Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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