it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
