The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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