dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
