Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize