Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just had sex on a roof
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
