You smell like stripper and shame
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just high enough for therapy.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
