i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You made out with two different species that night
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
