What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
People in love make me want to vomit
my being single is dangerous.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
