How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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