Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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