You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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