I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
