Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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