yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
