During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
