everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
