you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize