a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
