so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
