so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
