it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
