He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
