I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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