You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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