BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
