You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
