last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
