defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
