She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize