I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
