I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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