I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
