Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My vagina is officially offended.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
