another moral hangover. fuck.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize