ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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