The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize