it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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