just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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