her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize