We won't sleep together?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
