GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Even my vagina gasped.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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