you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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