last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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