3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize