But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Fuck appropriateness.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
