I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
