i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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