I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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